Can't decide between - a) Err..ranged Marriage and b) Deranged Marriage

Ek baar ladke waale ladki log ke ghar ladki dekhne aaye.
Mummy, Papa and Ladka ek sofe pe baith gaye. Ladki ke Mom, Dad bhi ek sofe be baith gaye. The latter sofa faced the former.
Ladki ke Dad to Ladki ki Mom: Ladki kidhar hai?
Ladki ki Mom to Ladki ke Dad: Mujhe kya pata?
Ladki ke Mom and Dad, in chorus: Ladki! Ladki!!
Ladki strolled out of some room and sauntered into the living room.
Ladki to Mummy, Daddy and Ladka : Hey!!! Nice to meet you guys! How are you?
Mummy, Daddy : Nice to meet you too.
Ladka: I am good!
Ladki perches on the arm of a chair.
Ladki ke Dad to Ladka: Do you smoke?
Ladka shakes his head to indicate no.
Ladki ki Mom to Ladka: Do you drink?
Ladka shakes his head to indicate no.
Ladki to Ladka ( conversationally ): Do you dope?
Ladki ke Mom and Dad try to salvage the situation.
Ladki ki Mom to Ladki: Arey, show some mehmaannawaazi!
Ladki to Mom: Sure!
Ladki to guests: Do you want poha or pauwa?
Ladka ( eyes downcast, deprecatingly ) ( maybe he doesn't know what pauwa is or maybe he does ) to ladki : kuch bhi..
Ladka ( eyes downcast) simpers, blushes and says shyly to the mandli: Mujhe ladki pasand hai

(Curtains)

A Joke ( With due credit to he/she who thought of it and those who passed it on)

Ek baar ek farm me aag lag gayi.
Farm me kaam karne waale log panic karne or chillane lage! "Ab hum kya kare! Ab hum kya kare! "
Unme se ek aadmi bola - "Fire brigade ko bulao!"
Koi bola " Arey, woh itni jaldi nahi aate"
Pehla bola " Bulao to sahi"
Toh fire brigade ko bulaya gaya!
Within a few seconds, fire brigade waha pahunch gayi!!!
And instead of stopping some distance away from the fire and getting to work - they forged ahead and stopped bang in the middle of the fire! Fire-fighters leapt out and began fire-fighting!
In time, they succeeded in getting it under control and got great press for their courage.
They received a cool cash prize from the Govt. of Wherever. The most successful news channel 'It's Today!' even asked them for an interview!
At the interview, the interviewer asked " What do you intend to do with the cool cash prize?"
Answered the chief of fire-fighters, " Pehle to gaadi ke brake theek karayenge "

The Case of The Missing Sabudana Wada ( A Detective D Dash Mystery )

A Dash, B Dash, C Dash and D Dash were room-mates.

D Dash was hungry. He found O-N-E (1) sabudana wada in a blue container. He took it out of the container and put it in a clean katori ( steel bowl ). He really looked forward to eating it. Just as he was about to eat it, the doorbell rang. He yelled, " I'll get it!" There was nobody outside..

D Dash returned to his sabudana wada but alas! the said sabudana wada was nowhere to be seen :(

D Dash was sorely disappointed but using his shrewd logical-deduction wali ability, deduced that the culprit had to be one or more of A Dash, B Dash and C Dash.

D Dash cleared his throat and:

1) Shrieked - " A Dash! "

2) Screeched - " B Dash! "

3) Croaked - " C Dash! "

And lo and behold! A Dash, B Dash and C Dash came and stood in O-N-E (1) straight line!!!!

Asked D Dash authoritatively, " Who Ate The Sabudana Wada? "

A Dash cowered.

C Dash quailed.

B Dash paled....and replied "I did."

D Dash patted himself ( D Dash ) on the back for having solved the mystery. Yet another feather in the cap for Detective D Dash.

Q&A

Q.1. How would you describe the transformation of a bar of soap to a tiger?
A. Nima Roars

Q.2. Agar Hindi Chini Bhai Bhai, what is Hindi Namak?
A. Don't know

Oho factorial - A compilation of [hopefully] funny SMS forwards

ACTIVE-PASSIVE fwd by Kuku Singh
Santa was asked to write ' I made a mistake.'
in passive form.He wrote 'I was made by a mistake..'
INDOLENCE INC.fwd by Jraman, Sultan
A typical student [like me] flips a coin and
thinks :Heads- Will go 2 sleepTails- Will watch a movieStands- Will listen to musicStays in air- Will study
MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL fwd by Baby, Yankee
Chuhe ne sherni ko propose maaraSherni boli: Abe aaine me shakal dekhi hai?Chuha bola: Arey shakal surat me kya rakha
hai ? Bande ka confidence to dekh!
WHAT'S IN A NAME fwd by Band
2 goldfish in a bowl.. r talking..Goldfish 1: Do u believe in God?Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do u think
changes the water everyday!
HERO # 1 fwd by Sakhu
Rajnikant's latest project..Titanic in
Tamil.. Climax revised..Both hero n heroine survive..Rajni swims d
Atlantic..Wid heroine in one hand..And Titanic in another.. hehe
LARA fwd by Lara
Reaction of girls who lose their wallets..Poor gal: Lost my money :(Rich gal: Lost my credit cards:(Smart gal: oh my god! Lost Lara's photo boo
hoo :(
HOW TO MAKE MONEY fwd by Band
Always borrow money from pessimists- they
don't expect it back
PAANCHAT fwd by Sakhu
Main uski yaad me bana barf ka golaMain uski yaad me bana barf ka golaAur woh boli kiThanda Matlab Coca Cola
LOOK B4 U LEAP fwd by Roshanrams
Socrates was once asked " What is the cure
for love at first sight?:The philosopher replied " Take a closer
second look."
KAUN BANEGA KARODPATI fwd by Pummy
Bumper offer! Send me SMS and win 10 lac ki
car ka photo, 29" colour T ka dabba, Dubai
jaate plane ko tata karne ka mauka aur mere
saath dinner woh bhi aapki taraf se.

Paanchat illustrated if not defined

Story #1:

(excuse d present tense)

A girl falls in love with plant. One day she is shocked to see the plant being attacked by its other lover the goat. The girl goes mad with grief- partly because the goat ate d plant (as in boo hoo) - n partly because the goat ate the plant ( green eyed monster). Then comes our hero the mali = gardener . He plants many trees(plants?) and hence sows many such ' seeds of love '. N hence they live happily ever after etc.

Story #2 :

Once an ant fell in love wid n elephant. When d lord of d jungle twitted her abt it, she maintained they were just good friends. One day a huntress came 2 d jungle to hunt for ants. She hunted using a 325# sieve. The ant didn't know this sieve size of course but she did know dat she cudnt handle dat sieve sizes ( although she didn't know which sieve size it was). She implored d elephant to help her out( here ant = female , eleph-ant = male) but the elephant was in luv wid d huntress so of course he kept looking at her n ignored d ant.
a ant got angry . so she prayed to d devas.

d devas decided 2 help her help herself. n suddenly d ant noticed dat d huntress was wearing a vnit badge. she brightened up visibly ! she had heard dat once in a practical class- a guy had used a rough brush on the sieve n in doing so had torn it in one place. she crawled under the sieve to locate the rent n lo behold! it existed.

So she crawled out. After she did that, it was aurat ka badlaa part 2. she crawled up d elephants hide - right into his right ear n bit him n he died (but ironically - in d huntress' arms). den both huntress n ant cried. den huntress went home to first husband (polyandry) n ant committed suicide out of guilt.

Edit..

That's wot people interested in mag.com last year had to do with the passage given below. The language is not crisp. It's full of grammatical errors etc. I hope this uncorrected passage makes for interesting reading

It’s a wonder how some people don’t seem to never want to read. Or write, for that matter.

As far as I am concerned, reading’s like this periodic bouts of hedonistic recidivism- give me a good book and and in less time than it takes to dog-ear someone else’s book, I am neck-deep in the plot and totally, absolutely, completely lost to the world. There’s a book to suit every taste, every situation, every need, every emotion, every fixation! One needs to know only where to look. People who are weary of books or simply ignorant or indifferent of them, miss out on so much!

Writing! I’ve seen my sister fill up diaries and diaries of god knows what! And then there’s people who’ve been known to baulk at the very thought of putting pen to paper! Give them a simple letter to write or a notice to put up and they are confounded! What is the point of spending long years at school, if even these routine necessities continue to baffle us out of our wits and that too at our parent’s expense? Imagine how unthinkable writing for pleasure would be to them .And, for that matter, as a medium of self-expression, not necessarily translating into ‘Dear Diary’ entries.